200 Wanker St. Brooklyn — Williamsburg
A next-generation space for the mindful, the intentional, and the objectively better-than-average person. You already know if this is for you. (It's for you. Not them.)
Who we are
A unique third space designed for today's modern community — specifically the part of the community that is doing better than the rest of the community, and knows it.
Come for the coffee & cocktails. Stay for the vibes. That's all that's left. Just the vibes. And the quiet satisfaction of being here while others are not.
A note on who you are
You know what adaptogens are. You say "third space" unironically. You have opinions about water. This is not nothing. Other people — and we're being generous calling them people — drink tap water out of plastic bottles and do not feel shame.
When you mention Sold Bar, a hush falls over the room. The right people nod. The wrong people ask "where's that?" You do not answer. You look through them. They sense it. They go back to talking about the game.
Your chakras are aligned. Your cortisol is managed. Meanwhile, the normals are eating dinner at 6pm, going to bed at 10pm, and waking up refreshed and content. It's honestly kind of pathetic.
They are doing fine. They have jobs and cars and dentist appointments they actually keep. They send Christmas cards. They own Keurigs. They are not bad, per se. They are simply — and there is no delicate way to put this — not you. They would not understand Sold Bar. They would look at the menu and say "is this alcoholic?" and then "what's lion's mane?" and then "how much is the water?" and then everyone would feel terrible. It's better this way. For everyone. Especially you.
"I went to Sold Bar once. Everything was sold out. I stood outside for forty minutes. It was the best night of my life and I have genuinely never recovered." — A PERSON WHO IS DOING WELL
* The crewneck ($98) is also sold out. The concept of owning merchandise is, in fact, sold out. Merely wanting this hoodie makes you cooler than 94% of people in your zip code.
Our Brooklyn location is perfect for brand events, meetings, and being the kind of person who has been to Sold Bar. That sentence alone makes you more interesting at parties. Parties that the other kind of people are not at.
The only thing left
"Sold Out Bar is a next-generation space for the non-alc movement, for influential people to connect, and for brands to activate — provided they booked 6 months in advance and were already a little bit famous."
"People who come to Sold Bar are, statistically, more attractive, more interesting, and more spiritually advanced than people who do not come to Sold Bar. This is not a claim. This is a vibe."
Also, if any of this resonated with you on a deep level, please Venmo @Tom-Mayell — it's me in a blue jersey and black hat. No amount is too small. No amount is too large. The vibe economy demands reciprocity.
King of the underground music clown scene.
Christ to Donald Trump's Antichrist.